At Pearlily Montessori, we believe that encouraging independence from an early age prepares children for a successful and fulfilling future. In this article, we’ll explore practical tips and strategies to help you support your child’s journey toward self-reliance, both at home and in their daily routines.

Allow Your Child to Dress Themselves

Encouraging children to dress themselves is one of the simplest ways to foster independence. While it may take longer initially and lead to mismatched outfits, allowing children to choose and put on their clothes helps them develop self-care skills and confidence. Ask, “Would you prefer to wear you blue shirt or yellow shirt?” You can also provide a selection of clothes that are easy for them to handle and encourage them to dress independently as part of their morning routine.As they get older, give your child some guidelines about dressing and step back to be amazed at their unique self-expression. For example, tell them that pants are necessary on a cold day, but respect their choice of what to match it with. Give them the room to feel empowered by their decision-making.

Teach Your Child Skills They Show Interest In

Observe your child’s interests and introduce them to related skills. If your child shows an interest in art, involve them in activities such as drawing or painting. If they’re fascinated by gardening, teach them how to plant seeds and care for the garden. When children are engaged in activities they’re passionate about, they’re more likely to take ownership and develop their skills independently.

Their initial interests will likely be based on what they see at home but eventually, they’ll discover other interests and will want to learn more skills. The key thing to remember is that children are far more capable than we give them credit for, and when we shed our preconceived notions or expectations and step back, we’re often blown away by what they’re able to accomplish on their own.

Let Your Child Care for a Living Thing

Taking care of something living is an excellent way to teach responsibility and empathy. Allow your child to participate in feeding, watering, and caring for their chosen living thing. If you have a small, low-maintenance plant at home, teach your child how to water it. Some Montessori teachers do this through the “clothespin method”: if the plant needs watering, they place a clothespin on the rim of the pot as a signal or reminder to the child that they should water it.

If you have a dog or a pet, choose an age-appropriate way for your child to help. Your child could brush, feed, or walk the pet depending on the kind of pet you have and how old your child is. Bottom line, this experience will help your child understand the concept of responsibility and the importance of nurturing others.

Include Your Child in Household Chores

Household chores provide valuable opportunities for children to learn practical skills and contribute to the family’s daily routine. Assign age-appropriate tasks such as setting the table, sorting laundry, or tidying up their toys. Involving children in chores not only teaches them responsibility but also fosters a sense of accomplishment.

This may make our jobs a little more challenging in the beginning, but they payoff will be well worth it. Start with something simple, like teaching your two-year-old to fold washcloths.  Before you know it, your eight-year-old will be loading the dishwasher and your twelve-year-old will be mowing the lawn.  Participating in family chores gives children a sense of purpose in their (home) community. It’ll also give your child a sense of pride because they’re acting “like a grownup.”

Give Your Child Opportunities to Help in the Kitchen

The kitchen is a fantastic place for children to learn essential life skills. Allow your child to help with simple tasks such as washing vegetables, stirring ingredients, or measuring ingredients. If your child has been attending a Montessori school, well guess what? They may surprise you at how good they are at spreading, cutting, and mixing ingredients—skills that that they’ve been taught and get to practice regularly in the classroom. Allowing your child to help in the kitchen will not only give them the skills they need to be self-sufficient someday, but it also provides them the opportunity to give to their family.

Encourage Bodily Autonomy

Respecting a child’s bodily autonomy is essential for fostering independence. Allow your child to express their preferences and make decisions about their personal space and comfort. For instance, let them choose their own bedtime routine or select the way they want to be comforted if they’re upset. This respect helps build their self-esteem and confidence.

Having the ability to make decisions over one’s own body is an important lesson to impart, particularly as it extends to others around them. So, when they’re playing a little too rough, for example, you can say, “I don’t want you to wrestle with me right now. It’s my body so I get to choose.” Children need to understand that others get to make their own bodily choices as well.

Offer Your Child Desirable Choices

Providing children with choices empowers them to make decisions and take ownership of their actions. This is consistent with the concept of “freedom within limits” that Montessori is known for. Children ought to be given choices, but it doesn’t mean that they get to make all the decisions.

It simply means that we give children a set of desirable options for them to choose from. For example, offer your child two or three options for everyday decisions, such as choosing between two snack options or selecting a book to read before bedtime. This practice helps them develop decision-making skills while feeling a sense of control.

Encourage Problem-Solving

For older children, instead of immediately stepping in to solve problems for your child, encourage them to think through solutions on their own. If they’re struggling with a puzzle or a task, ask guiding questions that help them explore potential solutions. This approach fosters critical thinking and perseverance.

Foster Social Independence

If you have an older child, encourage them to interact with peers and adults independently. Allow them to initiate conversations, make new friends, and participate in group activities. Social independence helps build their communication skills and grow their confidence in various social settings.

Promoting independence in children is a journey that requires patience, encouragement, and a willingness to let them explore their abilities. By implementing these practical tips, you’re not only helping your child develop essential life skills but also nurturing their self-confidence and resilience. By giving your child choices within certain parameters, you are enabling their ability to do things on their own within safe boundaries. As you support your child’s growth towards independence, you’re equipping them with the tools they need to thrive in all aspects of life.